Regrettably, far too many marriages end in divorce. In fact, 2.4 million Americans got divorced in 2012. And, that number has increased for the third year in a row.
In our society, divorce is an ever-present reality to every couple that decides to marry. Therefore, if you are ever faced with this decision to get divorced, you must mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the difficulties that lie ahead.
Every divorce case is unique because each person involved in a divorce is unique. No one is ever fully prepared for all the issues that accompany a divorce.
I know. I have been divorced myself.
I have also been a family law attorney for almost 27 years and have represented hundreds of people going through this difficult process. Therefore, I know first-hand that every client, family member and friend must be fully prepared to embrace the process.
Emotional Preparation for the Divorce Process
If you are considering a divorce, one of the best things you can do is to prepare yourself emotionally. Although every situation is different, there are a few important reminders you must consider as you embark on the divorce process:
1. Divorce isn’t easy.
Naturally, the decision to divorce is one of the most significant decisions you will ever make. Divorce is a traumatic experience for everyone involved. Nothing about it is ever pleasant or easy.
Divorce can be emotionally and economically devastating to you, your spouse, your children and your entire family. Divorce and child custody cases involve many complex issues because they deal with couples that were madly in love with each other at one point.
Oftentimes, they grow to hate each other just as much. In most cases, there is a thin line between love and hate.
2. You are not a failure.
For individuals proceeding down the path of divorce, you must keep in mind that you are not a failure as a spouse, a parent, or a person.
Perfect marriages don’t exist. Perfect spouses do not exist. Perfect parents don’t exist. Perfect children don’t exist. Dysfunction exists in all of our households. It’s just a matter of degree.
3. There are no guarantees.
Unfortunately, we all live in an imperfect world. Bad things do happen to good people. That means sometimes good people get bad results in divorce cases.
Life is not always fair. Divorce is not always fair. The legal system is not always fair.
Sometimes a spouse and/or parent can do everything right and still wind up divorced with a household of messed up kids with a mind that will be emotionally scarred forever.
Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in life. Marriage and divorce are no different. Keeping this in mind will help you through this challenging process.
How to Survive the Challenges of Divorce
Certainly, there are additional things you can do to help prepare yourself for a divorce so you can survive the process with your head, heart and dignity in tact.
In fact, that’s why I decided to write a book about it.
My book, Surviving Divorce, is the product of the wisdom I have gained as an experienced family law attorney. My book is a commonsense guide to dealing with the physical, emotional, and spiritual stresses that divorce puts on an individual, their friends and their families.
If you would like additional tips about how to survive going through a divorce, I encourage you to check out my book. You can get it here.