Children & Divorce: 6 Ways To Minimize The Impact

The ugly truth is that far more couples these days are getting divorced than ever before.

The divorce rate is high for young couples as well as older couples. Divorce is never an easy process and can be emotionally exhausting for both parties.

Children: The Collateral Damage Of Divorce

Children of divorcing parties, whether young or old, often suffer the emotional fallout of divorce. Mom and dad get so caught up in the division of marital property, finances, alimony, and child support that that they don’t realize how their children are physically and emotionally handling the divorce.
Divorce does impact children

Always keep in mind that what is best for your children should always come first. Their ability to adjust to the whole divorce process may take longer than you expect. It is not uncommon for children to carry a false sense of hope that their parents will reconcile at some point. This makes it difficult for them to accept the reality that mom and dad are splitting up and going their separate ways. Children typically love both parents and really don’t understand why their parents want to split up.

How Mitigate The Potential Damage

There are several tips that I believe are the most important when divorcing parents decide to inform the children of the divorce. I believe if these tips are taken to heart and utilized consciously then the whole process may be somewhat easier on the parents and children alike.

  • Break the news to your children about the divorce with your spouse present. Inform them together as a family and assure them that they are not responsible for the break up and that you and your spouse simply cannot live together anymore.
  • Assure the children that they are loved very much by you and your spouse and that nothing will ever change that. If both parents make every effort to co-parent throughout the process then it is less likely that the children will act out.
  • Encourage your children to ask questions and voice their concerns to both you and your spouse throughout the divorce process and after. This will make the children feel more open and at ease during the time of separation.
  • Avoid confrontation with your spouse and/or discussing facts of the case with your spouse in the presence of the children. Learning about the divorce is difficult enough on the children. Do not let them see the ugliness of the process and keep matters civil at all times.
  • Encourage your children to spend time with your spouse and vice versa. They need to know that both parents are still equally involved in their lives.
  • If you have a significant other during the divorce process, you should refrain from bringing him/her around your children or even letting your children learn that you are seeing someone. Your children need to deal with the divorce process one step at a time.

These are just a few tips that will help you deal with your children and make the process of divorce a little bit easier. Divorce is never an easy thing to go through and when children are involved it will become even more stressful. Always remember that before anything else, your children and their well being should be your first priority.

“Fighting for your rights”  Contact David Weissman and the law firm of Hollins, Raybin & Weissman for a confidential consultation of your case today at 615-256-6666.

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Surviving Divorce: How to Emotionally Prepare for Divorce

Surviving Divorce: How to Emotionally Prepare for Divorce

Regrettably, far too many marriages end in divorce. In fact, 2.4 million Americans got divorced in 2012. And, that number has increased for the third year in a row.

In our society, divorce is an ever-present reality to every couple that decides to marry. Therefore, if you are ever faced with this decision to get divorced, you must mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the difficulties that lie ahead.

Every divorce case is unique because each person involved in a divorce is unique. No one is ever fully prepared for all the issues that accompany a divorce.

I know. I have been divorced myself.

I have also been a family law attorney for almost 27 years and have represented hundreds of people going through this difficult process. Therefore, I know first-hand that every client, family member and friend must be fully prepared to embrace the process.

Emotional Preparation for the Divorce Process

If you are considering a divorce, one of the best things you can do is to prepare yourself emotionally. Although every situation is different, there are a few important reminders you must consider as you embark on the divorce process:

1. Divorce isn’t easy.

Naturally, the decision to divorce is one of the most significant decisions you will ever make. Divorce is a traumatic experience for everyone involved. Nothing about it is ever pleasant or easy.

Divorce can be emotionally and economically devastating to you, your spouse, your children and your entire family. Divorce and child custody cases involve many complex issues because they deal with couples that were madly in love with each other at one point.

Oftentimes, they grow to hate each other just as much. In most cases, there is a thin line between love and hate.

2. You are not a failure.

For individuals proceeding down the path of divorce, you must keep in mind that you are not a failure as a spouse, a parent, or a person.

Perfect marriages don’t exist. Perfect spouses do not exist. Perfect parents don’t exist. Perfect children don’t exist. Dysfunction exists in all of our households. It’s just a matter of degree.

3. There are no guarantees.

Unfortunately, we all live in an imperfect world. Bad things do happen to good people. That means sometimes good people get bad results in divorce cases.

Life is not always fair. Divorce is not always fair. The legal system is not always fair.

Sometimes a spouse and/or parent can do everything right and still wind up divorced with a household of messed up kids with a mind that will be emotionally scarred forever.

Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in life. Marriage and divorce are no different. Keeping this in mind will help you through this challenging process.

How to Survive the Challenges of Divorce

Certainly, there are additional things you can do to help prepare yourself for a divorce so you can survive the process with your head, heart and dignity in tact.

In fact, that’s why I decided to write a book about it.

My book, Surviving Divorce, is the product of the wisdom I have gained as an experienced family law attorney. My book is a commonsense guide to dealing with the physical, emotional, and spiritual stresses that divorce puts on an individual, their friends and their families.

If you would like additional tips about how to survive going through a divorce, I encourage you to check out my book. You can get it here.

Divorce More Accessible and Cheaper Under New Tennessee Rule

In an effort to improve access to justice the Tennessee Supreme Court has adopted a new rule that will allow Tennesseans without minor children or dependents, pension plans, and property or businesses to file for divorce without lawyers. The new rule allows those eligible to use “plain-language” forms for “agreed divorces,” those that are uncontested and bear no significant legal issues. To be eligible, couples must not have children who are minors, disabled, or still in high school; the wife must not be pregnant; the couple must not own any property or a business; they must not have pension plans and the decision to end the marriage must be mutual. If the couple fails to meet these requirements then a lawyer must be retained. However, it is suggested that the couple consult a lawyer when preparing the divorce agreement as a judge may disapprove of the agreement if it is deemed unfair. Likewise, the forms will include easy-to-read instructions that explains what to expect in court, as well as advice on what to wear and how to behave.
These “plain-language” forms were recommended in January by the Access to Justice Commission, an agency appointed by the Supreme Court to research ways to provide more efficient avenues to justice, with an emphasis on cases involving lower income families. Chief Justice Cornelia Clark added, “the forms are not intended to replace the need for an attorney but rather provide a helpful resource for attorneys and also for Tennesseans who choose to file for divorce on their own because the can’t afford to hire an attorney.” The new rule goes into effect September 1 and the forms will be available for download at www.tncourts.gov or www.justiceforalltn.com.
Sources
Tennessee Supremes Approve Do-It-Yourself Divorce Forms, Offer Fashion Advice
Posted By: Eston Whiteside