The ugly truth is that far more couples these days are getting divorced than ever before.
The divorce rate is high for young couples as well as older couples. Divorce is never an easy process and can be emotionally exhausting for both parties.
Children: The Collateral Damage Of Divorce
Children of divorcing parties, whether young or old, often suffer the emotional fallout of divorce. Mom and dad get so caught up in the division of marital property, finances, alimony, and child support that that they don’t realize how their children are physically and emotionally handling the divorce.
Always keep in mind that what is best for your children should always come first. Their ability to adjust to the whole divorce process may take longer than you expect. It is not uncommon for children to carry a false sense of hope that their parents will reconcile at some point. This makes it difficult for them to accept the reality that mom and dad are splitting up and going their separate ways. Children typically love both parents and really don’t understand why their parents want to split up.
How Mitigate The Potential Damage
There are several tips that I believe are the most important when divorcing parents decide to inform the children of the divorce. I believe if these tips are taken to heart and utilized consciously then the whole process may be somewhat easier on the parents and children alike.
- Break the news to your children about the divorce with your spouse present. Inform them together as a family and assure them that they are not responsible for the break up and that you and your spouse simply cannot live together anymore.
- Assure the children that they are loved very much by you and your spouse and that nothing will ever change that. If both parents make every effort to co-parent throughout the process then it is less likely that the children will act out.
- Encourage your children to ask questions and voice their concerns to both you and your spouse throughout the divorce process and after. This will make the children feel more open and at ease during the time of separation.
- Avoid confrontation with your spouse and/or discussing facts of the case with your spouse in the presence of the children. Learning about the divorce is difficult enough on the children. Do not let them see the ugliness of the process and keep matters civil at all times.
- Encourage your children to spend time with your spouse and vice versa. They need to know that both parents are still equally involved in their lives.
- If you have a significant other during the divorce process, you should refrain from bringing him/her around your children or even letting your children learn that you are seeing someone. Your children need to deal with the divorce process one step at a time.
These are just a few tips that will help you deal with your children and make the process of divorce a little bit easier. Divorce is never an easy thing to go through and when children are involved it will become even more stressful. Always remember that before anything else, your children and their well being should be your first priority.